Talking To Your Kids About Getting A Divorce
One of the most difficult conversations you will have during your divorce is speaking with your kids about getting divorced. It is natural to feel anxious or scared about having this conversation. Here are some helpful tips to consider:
Make a plan as to how you will tell them. Whether you decide to sit them down with your ex, do it alone, or engage the services of a counselor to help you, it is important to have a defined plan as to how and when you will do it. Be mindful that timing is critical; you should not do it before school, during holidays, or during other important times. It is recommended that you find a time that the kids will have to process the information.
Do not play the blame game. You do not want your children to feel caught in the middle. Your children do not need to know every little detail from either side. Using phrases like “we made a decision to separate” may help convey that it was a joint decision as to avoid the kids feeling that they are caught in the middle or have to pick a side.
Be sure to tell your children what will change in their routine. Give them the reassurance that everything will be fine and also give them time to ask questions. It is your duty to explain to them who they’re going to live with, their new schedules, and what will be changing about their lives.
Be patient as your kids process the information. It is normal that they will have a reaction. Make sure to give them the space to feel and express to you what is going on with them. Using the services of a counselor may help in the transition.
While divorce is never an easy topic to discuss with children, it is important to remember that children need consistency and routine. If you have any questions about the divorce process, please contact us at (443) 741-2567 and we would be happy to assist.